Once B4
by T. R. Myers
Summary: B-4 seems to have made no progress since Data's download into his positronic matrix, but a little voice in his head could change everything.


Author's note: This is a repost from an FF account I no longer have access to. It continues to be my favorite.

He stood from his chair in engineering. Geordi had told him that the man with the shiny head wanted to talk to him. He should go see him. He liked the man with the shiny head. So Geordi walked with him like he always did. They went through the big doors-bigger doors than usual. They walked to the doors that he knew would take him into the small room. Geordi called it a turbo lift. Why did he call it that? They walked in and Geordi said, "Deck one. Bridge."

He felt that the floor was moving. He knew that Geordi couldn't feel it. Why couldn't Geordi feel it? Geordi usually talked more. He usually talked about many things. Geordi hardly talked when they walked to see the man with the shiny head. Maybe Geordi could not talk while he walked. The doors to little room opened into the doors into a larger room. It was the funny room with all the chairs. Geordi and he walked to a door that would open into a small room with a shiny table. The man with the shiny head always sat at that table.

(B-4)

He looked around. Did Geordi say his name? It didn't sound like Geordi. He walked with Geordi through the doors. These were small doors. This was called the Ready Room. The man with the shiny head said, "Thank you, Geordi. That will do."

Geordi patted him on the shoulder and left him with the man with the shiny head. The man with the shiny head was reading something. He read often. He must be very smart. The man with the shiny head looked at him and said, "Hello, B-4. Please have a seat."

He sat down. The man with the shiny head put down the PADD and said, "I'm sorry that I haven't been able to talk to you in a while, but I've been rather busy. I'd like to know how you are doing." The man with the shiny head smiled. The man with the shiny head was always nice.

He understood what the man with the shiny head had said, so he said, "I am fine."

"Well, that's good to hear, B-4. Have you given any thought to what we talked about the last time we spoke?"

"You talked about my brother."

"Yes, I did." "My brother is not here anymore."

"No. No, he's not."

"He was broken and no one could fix him."

"Well, it was a bit more complicated that."

"I do not understand."

The man with the shiny head was sad. "No, B-4. I know that you don't."

He looked down from the man with the shiny head. He wanted to understand. The man with the shiny head talked about something else. "I understand that you've made a friend."

"Yes. Her name is Ensign Sarah Cho. She is very pretty. She is very nice."

"Tell me about her." "She is from Pennsylvania. Her father is from China. Her mother is from Vietnam. Her-"

"No B-4. That's not what I mean. Tell me about her as...what is she like? How is she your friend?"

"She comes to engineering to see me all the time. She teaches me things. She is showing me how to play a game called chess. She is very pretty. She is very nice, and she tells me that I always say that. She tells me that I am different. She tells me that I am one of a kind. She tells me that I am special."

"Yes. She's quite right. You are special."

"I try to do nice things for her because she is nice to me, but I do not know how. I do know how to do one thing that was right. I made a flower for her."

The man with the shiny head looked confused. "...a flower for her? What did you make it from?"

"Geordi says that it was called velvet."

The man with the shiny head understood. "Oh. Have you made anything else?"

"Yes. I make things all the time. The nice woman with the pointy ears says I should keep making things. She says it will help me. Sarah says so, too."

"The nice woman with the pointy ears?"

"She is in sickbay." "Oh, Doctor Selar. Well, that's good advice, B-4." The computer on the table made a funny noise. "I'm sorry, B-4. I'm going to have to cut our meeting short, I'm afraid. You can go on to your quarters. Geordi told me earlier that you were finished for the day."

"Thank you."

"Good-bye, B-4."

"Good-bye." He walked out of the Ready Room. He walked back to the turbo lift. It took him to deck ten. He walked to his quarters.

(B-4. You must listen to me.)

He looked around for the funny voice. There was nobody here. There was nobody anywhere. Maybe his ears were broken. Geordi could fix them. He was all the way to his quarters. He turned around to go to engineering and then he met his friend. Sarah was very pretty. Sarah was very nice. Her hair was black. Her eyes were brown. Her skin was a very dark gold. She was very pretty.

She said, "Hello, B-4."

He said, "Hello, Sarah."

"B-4. Are you busy?"

"My ears are broken. I am going back down to engineering so Geordi can fix them."

"Oh, well then, I'll walk with you."

"I would like that."

They walked together to engineering. They took the turbo lift to deck sixteen. They walked into engineering.

Geordi walked up to them. "Oh, B- 4. I'm sorry. I forgot to tell you. You can go back to your quarters. I won't be needing you for the rest of the day."

"I know. I am here because my ears are broken."

(B-4. It is important that you listen to me.)

Who are you?

(That is of no consequence.)

What is consequence?

(Consequence is something of matter and import.)

So your name does not matter?

(That is correct.)

Why must I listen to you?

(Because you are capable of more than you have become.)

What am I capable of?

(Many things B-4.)

Like what?

(You are capable of extremely complex eq...'B-4'...no normal compu...'B-4?'...able of. You are...'B-4!'.)

"Did you call me, Geordi?"

"Yes," Geordi said. "I can't find anything wrong with your audio processors...I mean, ears."

"Then what is wrong with me, Geordi?"

"There seems to be some unusual activity in your positronic matrix."

Sarah said, "Is it destabilizing?" She sounded worried. "That could happen, couldn't it?"

Geordi looked confused. "It doesn't seem unstable." He looked surprised. "When we found him, Data downloaded his entire memory to him. Now, at times, B-4 has been able to get little bits of that information, but there was never anything tangible. He simply couldn't remember what it was that he remembered. Data could be asserting himself in B-4's positronic matrix. That could be the voice that he is hearing."

His brother was talking to him in his mind? When he thought about it, it sounded like his brother. "My brother is talking to me?"

"It's possible. In essence, the mind of an android is a program, and Data's mind was downloaded into yours. He is still alive in you, in other words."

"I do not understand." Geordi looked tired. Sarah hugged him and said, "We know. We hope that someday soon, you will."

He hugged her back and said, "I hope that it will be very soon. I want to understand."

She smiled. "Come down to cargo bay two. There's something I want to give you."

"Okay." They went to deck fourteen and walked to cargo bay two. Sarah talked about the flower and how pretty it was and how much she liked it. She wanted to give him something, too.

(B-4. Be careful. You can hear it. Learn to understand it. There is danger.)

Brother? There was no answer. They walked into cargo bay two and the room sounded wrong. He did not understand. They walked over to a big, gray box. It read, "Crew personal property. Ensign Sarah Cho." She opened and removed a small black box that had many pretty pictures on it. She handed it to him and said, "Open it."

He did. Inside were two silver balls. He picked one up. It felt funny. It didn't feel like .right. "What are they?"

"They're Chinese worry balls. Whenever a person feels nervous or upset or frustrated, he or she is supposed to roll them around in their hand. I suppose it doesn't work on an android, but I want you to have them anyway."

"Thank you very mu-" Something blew up above them. The ceiling broke and a big piece of metal fell. "Get down!" He threw himself on top of Sarah. The metal hit him very hard. It pushed him down further. He heard her scream. The bad things ended. He got up. His friend was very still. She was broken. Maybe Geordi could fix her.

(B-4. Try to understand. You must.)

Geordi called the woman with the pointy ears. The woman with the pointy ears was moving a funny device over his friend. The woman with the pointy ears said, "She has suffered severe spinal trauma. We must get her to sickbay."

All of the people who were there put Sarah on funny stretcher thing after sliding a funny under her back. He went with them. The woman with the pointy ears asked him what happened. He told her.

She said, "It is quite possible that you saved her life."

Geordi was with them, too. He looked at Geordi. "Why did the ceiling blow up?"

Geordi looked back and said, "I registered a power overload in the auxiliary power grid just before the explosion. I wasn't expecting a malfunction like this. They don't usually happen."

"I do not understand."

"I know that you don't."

"Can the woman with the pointy ears fix Sarah?"

"I hope so, B-4. I hope so."

(B-4. You must understand.)

Why must I?

(Because you are better than this.)

No, I am not.

(Surely you do not believe that.)

I am not smart like my brother was.

(You can be.)

How can I be smart like him when I am not he?

(You were created to be.)

Who are you?

(As I have told you, that is of no consequence.)

I have to be my brother to be smart.

(But you are not your brother.)

But I want to be!

(But you cannot be.)

I have to be!

(No you do not. Why can you not simply be like him?)

It is because I cannot.

(Why?)

It is because I do not know how.

(Then you must learn how.)

Who are you?

(I can show you how.)

Are you my brother?

(But you must be willing to learn.)

Are you Data?

(You must be willing to change.)

Please tell me.

(Do you want me teach you?)

Yes.

He saw everything. He saw nothing. The Borg Queen was blowing on his  
>arm. He was singing a song on the bridge. 'The clown can stay, but<br>the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go.' He was talking about anti-  
>time. 'I am Locutus of Borg. Resistance is futile.' He was<br>connected to him. 'Sleep, Data.' It wasn't a plea. It was a course  
>of action. LAL. His LAL. His daughter. She died? Deanna Troi was<br>eating a brown substance called a chocolate soufflé. Why did LAL die?  
>He was on the holodeck learning about humor. Why did she die? Tasha<br>Yar was telling him about her sister. He could not fix her? A  
>limerick? 'There once was a woman from Venus, with a body shaped like<br>a-' Captain Picard interrupted him. Worf was next to him. 'I do not  
>understand their humor, either.' Why could he not fix her? Tasha Yar<br>kissed him in the observation . Why? He was  
>whistling 'Pop Goes the Weasel'. He couldn't finish it. Commander<br>Riker finished for him. Why?

Why?

Why?

Why did she die?

Did she have to die?

Why?

He was sitting across from Captain Picard in the Ready Room. "I want you to tell me more about my brother. I believe I understand why he is no longer here. He endeavored to be more Human. He endeavored to be something that he was not. It is because of this that he felt that his sacrifice for his Captain was worth more than his life."

Captain Picard looked disturbed, and yet simultaneously pleased. "Yes, I believe that is the case. I must say, B-4. You continue to be a mystery. For nearly a year we have attempted to help you become more than you are. Geordi has studied your case tirelessly. Even Sarah, acting as a Good Samaritan, has endeavored to help you reach your full potential without even marginal success. Now, here we are, nearly a week after the accident, which nearly claimed her life, and you seem so different. Yes, I will tell you about your brother-about Data."

Captain Picard talked for nearly an hour about Data. He spoke to him of Data's quest, of his actions, and of the effect he had on this entire crew. Something drew B-4's thoughts to Sarah. She was very beautiful. She was very kind. She had given him the worry balls. She was quite correct. He had no use for them, but he believed that she did not give them to him to use. She gave them to him as a message. She was telling him to be patient. She was telling him that only time would decide his future.

"Well B-4? What do you think of all of this?"

"I think my brother thought of you as family. I also believe he felt inferior to Humans. All of his existence, he sought to be Human. Even the receipt of an emotion chip brought him no closer to this goal. In the end, I think he did what he felt was the most Human thing he could do."

"So what are thinking now?"

"I am downloading and analyzing all of the information you have provided me. I am also analyzing my past observations of my friend, Sarah Cho. I am compiling the complete works of Franz Liszt. I am restructuring all information relevant to the construction and overall function of my positronic network."

Picard was smiling. He began to even laugh. "You know, you're starting to sound like Data."

"Captain, may I go and see my friend now?"

Picard continued to smile. "By all means."

B-4 left the Ready Room and went down to sickbay. His friend was laying on a bio-bed. He walked over to her. Doctor Selar-Doctor Crusher's successor- acknowledged the android. Sarah looked up from the bio-bed. She was paralyzed from the waist down. "Hello, B-4."

"Hello, Sarah. Doctor Selar tells me that she was able to save your vital functions however, she was not able to fix you."

"Yes, she tells me that, too." Sarah looked at B-4 in a curious fashion. "You usually call her 'the woman with the pointy ears'."

"I have gone through many changes. I realized that I could not remain what I once was. I discovered how to learn for myself."

Sarah smiled. "I'm glad."

"I still do not understand many things. I do understand more things than I did before. I have taken an interest in the music that Captain Picard has given to me in the past. I wonder if I could make my own?"

"Can I help?"

"I would like that very much."

"You know, I can't be a Starfleet officer anymore, but Captain Picard says that I can stay onboard Enterprise to continue to help you."

"I am glad. You are very beautiful, and very kind."

Sarah smiled more widely. "You always say that."

B-4 became quite alarmed. The smile was accompanied by something that he had never seen before."I believe Doctor Selar must administer additional repairs to you."

"Why?"

"Your eyes are leaking."

FIN


End file.
